My Initial Reaction

Yesterday started the kick off of the Fit Mixer bootcamp.  You’ll have to excuse me as this is only the beginning of my talking about it.  The bootcamp goes on for 12 weeks and while I don’t plan to talk about it everyday, I do plan to check-in regularly.  This is for me as much as it is for you.  While this round is all filled, you may be inspired to join their next round.  Or maybe you’ll just be interested in jump-starting a new workout regime.  Whatever may happen, I’m still going to talk about it.

What I really want to talk to about today is my initial reaction.  The day 1 workout was actually more of a “test” – something we’ll do a few times over the course of the bootcamp to check in with our fitness levels.  This is definitely a way to see improvement so I’m looking forward to seeing what I can do.  But dang it kicked my butt.  Maybe it was because we started with the ever-so-butt-kicking-burpee.  Maybe it was the fact that I took a puff of my inhaler 2 minutes before starting (smart move…).  Or maybe it was just because it was difficult and supposed to be.  It’s only the beginning but I guess my body didn’t expect to get kicked so hard so early.

The other challenge is something I’m really not used to – calorie counting.  As I’ve mentioned before, I’m utilizing the bootcamp by having a new plan to re-invigorate some of my workouts and toning.  It’s not about losing weight.  But this bootcamp is really an all or nothing.  I paid for it.  I’m going to get the most out of it.

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE these books!

The great thing is that they don’t say “eat this, don’t eat that” but rather give you a set calorie, protein, carb, fat amount per day.  Then you eat what you like fitting within those parameters.  Or at least try your best.  Then, you’re able to learn where you need to make more adjustments.  By lunch time yesterday I already knew what I needed – more protein.  But it’s challenging to actually stop and think about what I’m eating.  I already eat well but I’ve never counted anything, I’ve just eaten mindfully.  This is going to be a challenge.

Photo courtesy of Janetha

Besides already getting my butt kicked, I want to say how I much I LOVE the FitMixer team.  They were all super friendly and amazing when I met them at Blend and I can already feel their support in this bootcamp.  We also start each day with some motivation and a nutritional tip.  This isn’t just about getting us in shape, but improving our lives and overall well being.


Cheers to the journey!

I’m Gonna Own Today

I woke up yesterday morning already running late.  I rushed my shower, getting ready and ate half my breakfast while running out the door.  Then I felt better as I pulled into the parking structure 10 minutes before needing to be at work.

I got to work and got rolled over with frustration almost at the get-go.  Darn callouts.  Darn people not dealing with it that should.  Then I took a deep breath, put on my smiling face, and made things happen.

While this may seem like the ebb and flow of a normal day (and pretty much is), I felt it bringing me down more than it should and I decided that I was going to stop it.  As I was walking to Starbucks to get my coffee, I made the best decision I could have made for my day:

I’m gonna own today and not let it own me.

I came back from grabbing coffee for myself and breakfast for my manager, geared up and went out to run the floor so she could take a break.  I felt amazing!  I felt like I could take on the world in that moment!

She tried to come back early; I sent her away.  I was in my zone; I was feeling good; I had this.

As the day progressed and I felt other things poking at me, I reminded myself of this and turned it around.  It was amazing and quite the breakthrough.

The next time you’re having a rough day, tell yourself I’m gonna own today and not let it own me.  I bet you’ll instantly start to feel better.

More MarchPhotoADay pictures for you…and I couldn’t help myself, I shared two corners of my home! :)

The guy…

The guy who liked your friends.

The guy who things ended peacefully and mutually and in reality was probably too good for you.

The guy who you liked but he had a girlfriend; forget that. (x2)

The guy who didn’t actually care; you were just convenient for the situation.

The guy who loved you, but couldn’t tell you why it couldn’t work.

The guy who didn’t appreciate you.

The guy who is really just a good friend, not the one to date. (x3)

The guy who used you.

The guy who knows the good, the bad and the ugly, still cares but at the end of the day, it might just come down to bad timing.

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All hurt in one way or another.  All help you get to the right one.  I’m still looking for that right one.

Some days it’s lonely.  Some days it’s freeing.  Some days it just is what it is.

This week, it’s stung like a fresh cut.  I’m trying to put the past behind me but all I really want to do is hop a plane and fly away; move away; get away.

 

It doesn’t have to hurt this bad.  I don’t have to let it sting so deep.  But I’m having a hard time putting it all behind me and breathing.  I’m afraid to let my wall down for fear of getting hurt.  But I know I will never find love again until I can do that.  That and let go of the fear and insecurities these past guys have put on me.

Sometimes I think I need to learn to be selfish; to say what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, and what I want.  Sometimes I think I need to stop making sure you have what you need and ensure that I have what I need.  And sometimes…sometimes I think I need to stop thinking about it; just let it happen; just live.

(Disclaimer: This is me being completely and openly honest.  And in continuing with that, I was afraid to post this.  I’m okay but I’m growing up and finding love is part of that journey.  And this blog is a way for me to share my journey with anyone who wants to listen.  So why hold back?)

My Commitment

I’m committing to me.  I’m committing to what I need.  I’m committing to what will make me happy.

And if you have a problem with it, you can just deal.

I’m not a selfish person.  I often find myself too often putting others needs in front of my own.  Sometimes to the point where I neglect my own needs.  So I’m recommitting to myself and recommitting to listening to what my mind and body are asking for.  Because at the end of all of this, I want to be happy with my life.

I’m starting by trying to figure out what it is I want right now.  It has felt like things are missing or something just isn’t right, so I want to figure out what that is and how to fix it.  And I know it starts by focusing on me.  And quite honestly, by focusing on my writing.

In case you missed it, I just want to write.

So putting myself out there for more writing opportunities seems like a start.  Figuring out how to get more experience writing seems like a start.  And pulling together some of my best writing samples seems like a start.  So I started.

I’m not exactly sure what the next steps are but at least I can say that I’ve started and I’m working to figure out what’s next.  That’s more than I could have said yesterday…

A Reminder

I don’t know about you, but I needed a reminder:

Fear less, hope more;

Eat less, chew more;

Whine less, breathe more;

 Talk less, say more;

 Love more, and all good things will be yours. 

Before and After

After the end of last year and the crazy medications that I’ve been put on this year because of it, I was in need and ready for a change.  I needed something that would help give me a new glow and renewed sense of self.

Before:

After:

It really is the little things that help us get through the tough times and carry on our way.  Sometimes all it takes is a trip to the gym or a new shirt.  Other times, it requires a hair cut and a new color.  This was one of those times.

I’ve been putting off a much needed hair cut for awhile and toying with the idea of coloring my hair.  To be honest, these moments generally only come once per year, two if I’m lucky.  But when a friend told me I was missing my usual “glow” and needed to figure out what would help bring that back, especially when my usual workouts weren’t working, I knew it was time.

Sometimes it’s the smallest changes that can return us to our natural glow.  They bring about this renewed sense of self and we can’t help but feel a bit better, despite what’s been ailing us.

I have goals and dreams and while sometimes they change or manifest into something we don’t expect them to, we can’t allow the road blocks that are bound to come up to just get in our way.  And when we find they become to much of a hinder, we figure out what’s going to make us feel better in that moment so we can push forward.  For me, this time, it was a simple before and after.

There’s No Better Time Than Now…Again

Last year I started a 30-day Yoga Challenge which absolutely changed my life.  It was something that I had wanted to do and in a moment I said “Why not now? There’s no better time than right now.”  So the next day, I started on my journey to successfully complete 30 days in a row of yoga.

One of my goals for this year is to complete the Jamie Eason Live Fit 12-Week Trainer.  One of the reasons for this is just because I want a challenge in my workout again, particularly when it comes to strength training.  So the other day I had the same moment: “Why not now?  There’s no better time than right now.”  And two days ago I woke up and headed to the gym to begin Day 1.

The LiveFit 12-Week Trainer is not only a training program, but also includes a  meal plan but I’m not choosing to follow that.  I feel like I’m very aware of what (and how much) I’m eating and I’m really only looking for a new challenge in my workout.  I’m excited to begin this journey and see where it takes me.

Because really, there’s no better time than now.  If you want to make a change, take that first step and do it.  No one says it’s going to be easy but you’ll be glad you did it in the end.

What are you going to start today?

time to work on my game plan

We’ve always seen Steve Jobs as a visionary and a man who made a strong, powerful and positive impact on the world.  And you don’t have to be a Steve Jobs or Apple “fan” to see that.  
My whole life, I’ve thought about how I wanted to make an impact but it’s always about finding the way that works for you, that allows you to follow your passion.  It allows the work you do on a daily basis, to not feel like work. 
Since Steve’s passing, I’ve been reminded even more of my desire to leave behind a strong footprint.  It doesn’t have to be on such a global level as Steve, but I do want to leave behind a positive impact.
After a really amazing and inspiring day yesterday and time with friends to refuel, I went to sleep with this thought: 
i have a strong desire to make a positive imprint on the world. time to work on my game plan.
I posted it on Facebook and Twitter and I’ve been getting an amazing response.  Quite honestly, I think it’s something most people want out of their lives.  We want to be remembered for the good and amazing things we’ve done in our lifetimes, however long or short.
As I was finishing my breakfast and coffee this morning, I pulled up my horoscope on Yahoo Shine and while fitting, this one really seemed perfect:
I don’t care whether you believe strongly in Astrology, follow it for fun or think it’s just a load of crazy talk, but I personally love to see the way these sorts of things align with what’s going on in my life.  And this morning, this was screaming at me that this is my go time.  It’s time to take the lead and put my plans to paper and figure out just what I want to happen and the best path to get there.
I have the drive, determination and perseverance to make whatever I want happen!
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I have the knowledge and resources to overcome obstacles as they present themselves.
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I have supporting friends and family (and readers) to see me through the inevitable rough days.
I have the passion, inspiration and strength to put myself out there and come out on top, no matter what anyone else says.

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Remember, I am strong!

Post Challenge Breakthrough #1: Time Spent Alone

I spend a lot of time alone.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my time to myself.  I’m very much an independent person and crave time away from people, to sit in the comfort of my own home in my pajamas and be left alone.  But at the same time, sometimes it gets to be too much time alone, too much time to think, or more like over-think.  Sometimes I think the amount of time I spend alone, is the reason I struggle with some of the things I struggle with.  Sometimes I think it may be the reason I struggle to maintain friendships with people.  I have some amazing friends, they’re just really spread out (as in all over the country).  It makes it great when we finally get to reunite because I know it’s going to be a blast but it makes living in one place difficult.


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I’m a generally quiet person.  If you know me well, if you take the time to get to know me, you’ll learn it can be hard to shut me up at times.  And while I’ve spent my life working to come out of my shell, I’ve also dealt with a lot of heartache and I’ve realized how it’s made me more of a quiet person again, more likely to over-think my every move and word.  Those kinds of behaviors make it hard to show people who I am.  They make it hard for me to really open up to people.  They make it hard for me to say “Hi, my name is Katie. It’s nice to meet you” and take any steps to further a conversation.  I’m not exactly sure when this happened but it’s been one of those things that I’ve thought a lot about but have always been afraid to share.
I’m an emotional person.  I cry and I cry easily.  I cry when I’m hurt, happy, frustrated, excited, whatever.  It’s very easy to bring tears to my eyes.  It’s difficult to admit because I know so many people see tears as a sign of weakness but for me, it’s a sign of my passion.  A passion for everything I do and a passion for every person in my life that I allow close enough to see the real me and who choose to stay a part of my life and allow me to see the real them.
Why am I sharing this?  This isn’t meant to be a sad post, though it may seem this way at first glance.  I’ve spent the last 30 days taking 90 minutes every.single.day to focus on me and my breath.  In learning these habits, I’ve been able to get a clearer view on myself and my life and what I need and would like to be happier and live a more fulfilling life.  And one of those things is to work on my friendships.  I want to repair frayed relationships; I want to tighten strong friendships; and most importantly, I want to build new friendships.


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I see other’s friendships and can’t help but feel a tingle of jealousy.  I have some amazing friends, please don’t get me wrong.  And to my friends out there reading this, please don’t be offended by our friendships and take this the wrong way.  But as I said, I spend a lot of time alone and I want to change that.  I want to feel more open and willing to spend time with other people.  I want to build strong friendships (and strengthen existing ones) to create a support group in LA, as I hope this will be one thing to help me feel happier and more at home out here.  
And believe it or not, I kind of want a roommate.  Living alone has so many upsides, but it also has it’s downsides.  I can’t tell you how easy it is to come home after a long day, put on my yoga pants and crash on my couch and not move for the remainder of the evening until I eventually fall asleep on the couch, only to wake up a few hours later and move to my bed.  This is a daily occurrence in my apartment.  But it’s also one that has made me spend even more time alone because it makes me too lazy to go out and meet people.  And all that time alone can bring about some major loneliness.  But my history with roommates (aside from the ever amazing roomie Justine!), has me hesitant to live with people but I think it’s time to reconsider.  I think it’s time to open myself up to the potential struggle of living with others and embrace the challenge and money saving opportunities.  You never know until you try.  And as long as I have my own bathroom, I’m open.

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