I was standing behind the counter at my part time job with my boss the other week when we got to talking about college. He was in the military for awhile and then went right into retail, never going to college (nothing wrong with that, for the record!).
He got to asking me how I picked what I wanted to study, let alone what I wanted to do with my life. He remembered feeling confused and wondering how someone makes that kind of decision. He told me I didn’t have to answer the question, but really there was nothing to hide, my answer was simple:
I always knew what I wanted to do.
I remember friends in high school being overwhelmed with the decision, bobbing back and forth, and feeling envious of my confidence. I never laughed at them but I remember an uneasy laughter, not knowing how to help them make their decisions, I had always just known. Sometimes, I think they’re the ones laughing now.
To this day, I still fight and question my place in the music industry – does it exist? Do I even have one? Do I want one?
If you ask any of my friends that are in it, the answer is a full blown, no questions asked YES. This is especially true if you talk to anyone who knew me when I was in it, who saw my passion, drive and perseverance.
At one point in time, I remember saying that I wasn’t sure my place in the music industry existed yet and rather, it was something that I had to create. The more time that goes by, the more I bob back and forth, the more my thoughts run with ideas and potential, the more I think that may still be the case.
This isn’t a post with a resolution, in case that’s what you’re looking for. Rather, it’s a post to share the continued question of what ultimately is right for my life, my future, my goals, my dreams. In no way am I planning to leave my job but rather find the thing I can do outside of it that fulfills me to the very core, helps pay the bills and save (hello, travel!), helps people, and has the potential to come together in a passive way.
I’m brainstorming and planning and working through the many things I question about myself (hello fear of failure paired with knowing I have the potential to do amazing things).
I share this with you today, for myself but also for you. For hopes that my story will resonate with you in some way, even though we all have lived very different experiences.
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So tell me this – does the work you do fulfill you to your core?
If so, what do you do?
If not, what do you want to do?