Last week I read an article on my friend Lindsay’s blog (a guest post by Tara Newman) about how we may be blocking our own success. It really struck a chord in me. I have known that I am someone who can get in her own way, whether that be in my job, relationships, personal happiness, athleticism, etc.
The article led to me thinking about how I’m currently getting in my own way or holding myself back. In the midst of a job search, a boyfriend who lives 4 hours away, and trying to recover (in more ways than one) from the 50 States In A Year project, I know it’s happening. So what’s at the forefront of this problem for me? What is it that causes me to hold myself back and not reach my full potential?
Fear of failure.
I’m not even kidding. It’s fear. It’s like this big bully that just follows me around, makes me question every move and decision, and ultimately holds me back from reaching my full self. I know I’m not alone in this.
I went out for a run Sunday morning and as I did so, it hit me…small things that I could do to move on from this failure and ultimately squash the fear. So here are my 5 ways to move on from failure…
1. Find your therapy
You can take that as literal as you’d like. Go talk to someone to work through your fears (there’s nothing wrong with that!), paint, sing, shop (on a budget! I’m not going to be the reason everyone starts spending their savings at lululemon! 😉 ), or, in my case, run. Whatever lets you dig into yourself, your wants, your needs and provides you that time. For me that’s when I’m out pounding the pavement.
2. Let go of what isn’t serving you
This might be one of the hardest ones. Sometimes this is a habit or a person, sometimes someone you were once close to. If it isn’t lifting you up, it can’t be around anymore. Sometimes this step comes with other consequences and others won’t make it so easy to just let go, but stick to it, you’re doing what’s best for YOU.
3. Find your support team
I am so lucky to have friends, family and a boyfriend who have been there for me. They let me vent, cry and seek out their advice. They’ve held my hand, picked me up and put me down, when that was what I needed from them. I’m extremely lucky to have these kinds of people in my life.
There I said it. And guess what? It’s an okay thing to do! It’s okay to cry and have your moment to be emotional or to do something a bit emotional (within reason, of course). I took my moment and I assure you, there have actually been a few, but it’s important (and healthy) to let out those emotions from time to time.
5. Realize the truth of the situation
Are you confused? You’re not sure what the truth is? The truth is that this wasn’t a failure. There’s always something to gain from these kinds of situations…a lesson, a positive, something GOOD. I battle the end of 50 States in my head on a near daily basis and most of the time, I don’t want to talk about it because it feels like such a failure. But guess what? I raised over $27,000 for 10 various charities; I met thousands of people across the country who were inspired to help give a little something to help those less fortunate; I didn’t fail, I did exactly what I set out to do.
[ctt title=”The truth is that it wasn’t a failure. #motivation” tweet=”The truth is that it wasn’t a http://ctt.ec/f1hAQ+ 4 other ways to move on! #motivation http://ctt.ec/CZH8I+” coverup=”f1hAQ”]
I know sometimes it’s easier said than done but if you find yourself staring at something you consider a failure, I suggest you take a minute, go through this list and take the necessary steps to move on. You, your health, your sanity and your dreams need that from you!
How do you come back from a “failed” situation?
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Failures in our lives are just another part of living. I see mistakes in my life as part of the journey and important to help me reach my goals. I love the ideas you have here to move on from those down times in your life. Keep it up and live unstoppable!
“live unstoppable” <- LOVE THAT!
These are excellent tips and they actually do work! Great post
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Yeah letting go isn’t easy…but then you never can change back time…I usually sulk 1 or 2 days after a big failure and give myself some time to pity and treat myself (chocolate I am coming)…then I think of a battle plan, go to my martial arts training or running and usually I am over it after that^^
Because there is no need to waste time fearing that you could fail again, life is to short for that^^
Letting go— so important, and so hard. You need to do all of the above to be able to let go.
— DT | Here I Scribble
This is a great post! I have a hard time taking risks because of fear of failure, too, but it’s something I work on every day.
This is amazing. I’ve let fear stop me so many times, and each time I thought of how far along I’d be if I just pushed past the fear and kept going. That’s the goal from now on. Cry, shed the dead weight, look at the entire situation and keep going. Thank you for posting!
So true – great tips! Fear always tries to hold us back from achieving our goals, we just have to find a way to overcome it!
Yes! It’s so important to do/have all of these. I know I’ve let fear stop me before, but now that I’m older, I’m not letting it get in my way.
I agree with #1. I’m surprised that running is also therapeutic for me – running, walking, silence, praying – those are my main modes of processing.
True! Definitely NOT a failure! You did so much, was so brave, and lasted FAR longer than most probably would!
i think im there now. just in a fear of failure that causes inactivity which causes failure cycle. Definitely cleaning helps me, thats a huge therapy of mine hahah
Loving these tips – especially #4. It’s normal to have emotions and we should make sure to remember that.