I started this blog nearly 12 years ago at this point. That’s wild when you think about it. Not just because of the complete 180 the blogging world has taken since the “good old days,” but also the complete 180 my own life has taken since then, multiple times over.
And I see myself back in that space, preparing for the next shift. And I think it’s also going to be a big one.
I had this thought earlier that it would be interesting to start a brand-new blog…anonymously. One where I could share openly about the struggles of being a millennial in her 30s, single, with no kids (and who doesn’t want kids), and spinning around in circles trying to decide the next way to go. (Gosh, I’m dizzy.) There’s this part of me that so desperately wants to help people and be of service, yet feeling like I can’t be fully honest and transparent unless it’s anonymous, and then fast forwarding myself back to our present day and time and wondering how anyone just finds a blog these days unless you’re SHOUTING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS.
And after a 30-day hiatus from social media, aside from posting for my day job, I’m not sure how to go back; if I can mentally ever go back; if I even would want to. There are moments I miss, like the photos and videos my friends share with their kids that bring a smile to my face, but these days, there’s not much more than that because the rest is just noise.
And I hate to admit it, but despite it not being my intention, I was adding to it and I can’t keep doing that.
I noticed that even over my social media break, I was listening to fewer podcasts. It was like I would hit the moment in my afternoon or evening when I could no longer handle the consumption. It felt like I had been listening to something on the highest audio setting possible all day and when I tried to turn it off, the power button wouldn’t work. So all I could do was sit in a ball on the floor with my hands over my ears and try to block out as much of it as possible and hope it would stop on its own.
Except for the power button and the volume controls weren’t broken, and I could have it on the lowest possible setting and still feel that way. I started unsubscribing from podcasts, turning to more music or nothing at all, and that’s when it hit me: I can’t handle the noise and I can’t keep being a part of it.
When you’re trying to build a business, especially online these days, social media is this expected requirement. It’s the place you go to have conversations with your followers, promote what you’ve created, and hope the sales come right along with it. But it’s also where it seems like everyone is doing it, except they’re doing it better than you and they’re letting you know. It’s where diet culture and trolls and comparison are constantly SCREAMING at you. It’s where imposter syndrome breeds, highlight reels become reels, and where we’re reminded that none of us are actually “keeping up.”
And I’ve had enough.
So when I had the thought earlier today about starting a new blog anonymously, I reminded myself that I had a space that while not anonymous, probably not read that much, and with a name that’s more or less crafted from this idea of talking less, but saying more. You know, less noise and more meaningful words.
