My Biggest Confession of 2013

I’ve been lying to you.  Well not really lying but definitely not telling the whole truth and it’s starting to eat away at me.  I think it’s time that I let this giant secret off my chest and surround myself with the energy needed to persevere to create big and amazing things.

So let’s back up a bit…

When I lost the band I was managing 2 years ago I was sure my career in music was over.  Not because anyone said it was but because I decided it was.  I spent time mourning the loss and figuring out what life was to look like after that.  I struggled for awhile not sure if this was a time to go back to school to further pursue a career in my second passion – health and fitness.  Then last September I sucked up my pride and made the move back home to Illinois where I could pursue my personal training certificate while living on less expenses. In November I received my CPT with NASM and within a week was offered a full-time job at a large gym in my area.

A job that I turned down.  

I could never explain the reasoning behind my decision to anyone besides for “it didn’t feel right.”  Because it didn’t.  There was something in my gut that wasn’t sitting right and at the time I didn’t know why.  I continued pursuing training/fitness jobs and while offered several interviews, I turned them all down.  My anxiety was growing and it was more than just interview nerves, it was full-on anxiety.  That’s until I read “The Defining Decade” and was slapped in the face with my reality.

This isn’t what I’m supposed to do with my life. 

While I love fitness and sharing my healthy living journey with my readers and those around me on a daily basis, this isn’t meant to be my full-time forever career. And as I’ve assisted with training sessions at work as needed, it’s only confirmed these feelings.

I’m meant to work in music.

And that’s exactly what I want to do.  It won’t be easy, it won’t always be perfect, but at the end of the day it will be worth it and it’s exactly what I’m meant to do.  I’m here to do big things and I know that.

So what does that mean for now?

I’m pushing through, I’m brainstorming, I’m fighting to find my exact place in this industry and I’m optimistic I will find it.  It may happen quickly or it may take more time but I know I will get there.

What do I need from you?  

Your support, your positive energy, and if you happen to have a connection or two, that never hurt. 😉 But really, your support and encouragement will keep me moving forward through this process.