Trying to write again. Trying to find the words. Trying to find the thing that used to be such an outlet for me that has somehow been lost in the sea of everyday life, social media, working, healing, and whatever else fills the time. But there’s a void. A space that I used to spend time writing, with words, with myself. I’d like to find it again.
Awhile back I talked about wanting to take back the blog and I didn’t really do that. I let everything take over again. This isn’t me looking to bring back the blog in the way of hoping to turn it into an income stream again. This is me simply talking about wanting to take back my voice.
It’s funny how that happens. We get so lost in the world we lose sight of the things that truly bring us joy. I’ve been feeling so disconnected and lost lately. Like a puppy who found her way off her leash but can’t seem to find her way home.
My practices help. Yoga and meditation. Journaling and self-care. Community. But there’s this thing that happens when I show up on my yoga mat and quiet my mind during my meditation…I can actually hear.
It sounds silly, I’m sure. But the noise around me starts to quiet down and I can finally hear the ask of my inner mentor. The voice that lets me know what I need right now.
Today she’s whispering. She’s getting knocked over by the waves. She gets back up, finds the courage to say what she needs, and then a voice louder than her own comes barreling through and she’s left out in the middle of the ocean trying to swim to her life raft.
Those days barely allow for her to come up for air or to find more than a momentary breath.
But during that breath today, I heard her whisper, “Write. Write. Write.”
And then I put it off.
I read (which I so enjoyed). I scrolled social media (which I so did NOT). I sat in the anxiety. I wished for someone to rescue me, all while knowing no one could climb aboard the life raft but me.
So maybe this if the first of many. Maybe it’s a one and only. Maybe it’s the words to let you know…
You are not alone.