I’ve tried to meditate. Usually with little to no luck. But running, that I can do. It is my meditation. Especially a good run. One when my body just does what it’s supposed to so my mind can wander, can reflect and can get lost in the music.
That happened Sunday morning. As I left on my morning run, feeling good and excited for what I thought would be a short run on a gorgeous fall morning. The sun shining, the air cool but not too cold.
And quite honestly, I didn’t even realize what was happening at the time until there were tears rolling down my face. I took a deep breath and kept running forward. I started listening to the music playing, the lyrics, the melody, the harmonies.
“That’s the love that can’t be broken…that’s the sting of a heart cut open….that’s the thing about blind devotion…that’s a love that can’t be broken…”
A few weeks ago after hearing about 50 States In A Year, someone asked me if I had a boyfriend, fiancee or was married. Of course I replied no, but as I continue to talk to people about how now’s the perfect time for me to do something like this, about how I don’t have a relationship, my own family or someone I’m leaving behind (aside from friends and family) to do this. Those kinds of comments and conversations aren’t meant to hurt, but sometimes they do. They get you thinking about the past, present and future. About love and relationships. About how you don’t have one but continue to hope that someday you will find someone worthy of your time, energy and who can handle you, who understands you, who sees you and your place in this world and cherishes it.
It gets you thinking if love exists and how one actually knows what love is. I don’t mean this in some kind of pity party kind of way, just in a this is where my head goes way. These are the thoughts that arise and the emotions in which music can draw out of us. Even when we least expect it. When we’re on a run and losing ourselves in that moment.