I need events regularly or else I get anxious. Questions of what I’m doing and why, what next year looks like, what I want out of my life and career, are just a few of the many questions that flutter to the surface during that “off” time. Not to be confused with thoughts of boredom but it usually stems up in the midst of so many things to do and wondering how I’m supposed to get it all done on time.
In this case, it’s after 4 days of straight driving to Alaska and the roller coaster of energy and excitement and being ready for this drive to end and already cringing for the drive home.
Service was pretty much non existent on the drive up and is still rather spotty. This should be a time to enjoy disconnecting but the anxiety builds as the questions keep floating up. I can hardly think or breathe before the next question shows up.
I have so many big dreams and goals and I’m trying to figure out how to make them happen, which to prioritize and which to push to the back burner.
What does next year look like?
The constant question from those around me. I feel like the better question is “what do you want next year to look like? What feels right for next year?” Not that I can answer those any easier…so the personal battle continues.
Maybe this is about too much time to think, maybe it’s about not knowing how to get what I want, maybe it’s my quarter life crisis or maybe it’s something completely different. I’m not quite sure but I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
As hard as it is, sometimes you have to get out of the future and just live in the now. Not saying it is bad to have goals and an idea of what the years ahead will look like, but too much thought there, and not enough in the now, makes us feel we are drowning in our thoughts. When I was seeing a therapist, we had to pretty much stop my mind from looking at the future and put my focus on the present; the past was another part of my mind I had to stray away from. It is definitely easier said than done, but I wanted to pass my insight to you.
I will be thinking of you, and hope you can find peace. <3
Thanks friend! <3
Pingback: Slow Sundays Lead to Music Mondays | Talk Less, Say More
I completely am with you! I’m job searching and had an interview today. I haven’t gotten an offer, or been turned down, but I still find myself wondering if I do accept the offer, what things I will need to decide. It’s silly to get so worked up. But I can’t not think about it. I try to remind myself that it will work out how its supposed to, and I need to trust the process. (which sucks)